Life...As We Know It!!

Its amazing how life changes in a few seconds so drastically that even you don't know what struck you..I mean seriously...you are living your life......doing good with what you have and suddenly someone comes and changes your life completely...you of all people don't know what just happened...I mean that person becomes such an inseparable part of your life that you never know how did you even manage to survive without him for so long....and also thinking that how will your day be complete without meeting him even for once...you are angry on yourself that instead of enjoying the moment you are thinking this rubbish..but you cant just help it can you...you love it with him,hate it without him..want him to stay there all the time. Instead of enjoying the god's sudden change of plans to shower you with long overdue love from his side in his form, you sit and wonder at night,what the Hell is going on nowadays??? You never know how u managed your 20 plus life without them al this while...but now that you don't have to,its good that you dnt have to..you just move on with it and ofcourse taking him with you together in your life this time :D

......

"I want to hear a story grandma.....you promised..."

"Yes i did"...just like any other day i did promise my little grandchild a story, but the problem today was that i ran out of it...the last story in the story book had ended and there was no way i could repeat a story already told.she would know...anyways..i decided to let her sleep like this by postponing it till tomorrow but even still that didn't help. She got terribly upset and started sulking...ofcourse 6 year olds also have their way of revolt...she knew i can't see her crying and neither could i see her getting scolded by my son. This is the reason she chose the ultimate weapon...Tears...i just remembered my days when i was a child when everything i wanted was just made possible at the roll of a tear...that is the reason why i knew even Those tears weren't real..but me, being a grandmother now, couldn't afford to see my grandchild cry. so i took her in my arms..planted a kiss on her forehead and made her sit on my lap..her tears were already replaced by a smile accompanied by the rosy pink cheeks which got red due to her so-called crying :) but now she knew that one way or the other she is gonna get a story out of me for sure.So i started....

"..Long time ago, there lived a girl. Her parents loved her very much..she was very brave and loved to travel. Her parents were very good and always let her go to adventures on mountains and valleys and distant places on the earth. She loved to travel alone..she was a daredevil. Her parents always knew that even when she was head strong, she was responsible at the same time.They never stopped her from doing what she liked.....Slowly she grew older and time had made her even more outgoing and headstrong than she was, her demands slowly grew from cute innocent requests to bold outrageous demands, her parents slowly realizing where was headed, tried stopping her by fervor and by force..She on the other hand still unsatisfied with what she had and being a rebel that she was, just set off to see the far reaches of the earth leaving everything that she had and abandoning her parents forever. She thought what she was doing was right, of course she was just a young girl, barely out of her teens, and with her parents being so unreasonable in her mind, she was right. She slowly galloped over to the snowy lofty mountains of the north where she found a beautiful town with sunshine covering its field in the summer and snow in the winter..she fell in love with it instantly...she decided to settle down once and for all in that amazing town..slowly months passed and warm sunny summer was replaced by cold chilly winds of the winter..she loved the winter and loved playing with the snow on a chilly day..

..one day, just like any other when she was out all by herself, she saw a man struggling while putting the horseshoe on his horse..she stood there and watched him for a few seconds as he struggled to keep the horse still and lift his leg at the same time..barely able to put the shoe in place to pin it inside his hoof, she smiled to herself and finally decided to help..she asked in a low tone."Excuse me, do you need some help?"..The startled man looked up..their eyes met..and there it was..it was love at first sight...they couldn't manage to take their eyes off each other...it was only after a minute when the horse pushed the man back did they come to their senses..the girl couldn't suppress her laughter..and broke into a huge chuckle, even the man found it funny to laugh at his own little misfortune..he introduced himself as they shook hands and smiled.

This was the first time they ever met..slowly that introduction grew from just pleasantries to little details of each other lives and a single meeting of seconds grew to a lifetime of commitment..they grew so fond of each other that they decided to marry each other just after a month..the man's parents and relatives were happy for him but were also worried...."

"Why worried grandma?? You said love is a good thing? and that marriages are sacred??"

"Yes dear, ofcourse its a good thing and ofcourse marriage is sacred...but only when its with the right person."

"What do you mean? How can you say that? they loved each other!!"

"Yes dear ofcourse they did..but what they never realized is that the feeling which they thought was love..was not love at all.."

(Interrupting)"..then what was it??"

"It was fondness my dear..as you know..the girl was alone in that town for months...she became emotionally vulnerable..you never realize when loneliness creeps into your life and slowly changes the person you were..you start to smile less than usual..you start to like being lonely..you start losing interest in things...you start getting weaker day by day...all the happiness in your heart starts leaving you one by one and before you know it...you are left with a big huge void in your heart...burning to be filled by something or someone..you then meet a handsome young man..who you feel is what you needed all your life..you feel a connection with him..Heart to Heart..but what you don't realize that in his heart even he is the same...sad and lonely."

"But isn't it good that two lonely heart become together to complete each other up?"

"Wow!!for a little kid you know too much about love..don't you my little angel??"

"He he!! no grandma..i am just curious...nothing else"..she said with a smile and her naughty eyes.

continuing..."Yes..it is good..but then they never gave time to each other to be themselves..you see in the early months..love seems to be like a fairytale..both of them put up their best behaviors so that the other one is not hurt, they say nice things so that the loved one is not offended..but as you grow with it..things settle down...the masks of superficiality are slowly taken off..each ones true nature is revealed to one another...and that's the true test of love...and when you pass that..only then do you know that you were made for each other."

"But what if you take off that mask as soon as you meet.."

"You can believe you did so..but then that's just you being naive..because the more you love someone..the more protective you are for them..and that's when you don't realize when you start protecting them from yourself..by yourself i mean the side of you which you know your partner wont like."

(After a while) "So you are saying they married too soon?"

"Yes, they never gave time to know each other better"

"So what now? What happened after that? Now they are married also? What if they don't like each other without the masks? What to do now??"

"That's exactly the question that was worrying the man's parents..that's why they were worried..he was their only son and they dint want his life to be ruined by a wrong marriage..but the man wasn't in the mood to listen..he was stupidly in love..so much so that he was blinded by it towards the world."

"Oh god!!then what happened? Did they love each other after their masks were off??"

"Well....Sadly..NO!!"

"What? so did they separate from each other??"

"No..well..they could not..because if they did...it could mean huge shock for the man's family..which he feared his parents won't take that well."

"Then what did he do??"

"He could do nothing but to live with it..there is a saying that you make your own choices and then you have to live with it..something similar happened to him as well..he made a choice which went terribly wrong..for both of them...but then they had nothing to do but to live with it..life became nothing but a big compromise where they got up each day to realize how messed up their lives are just because of that one wrong decision they made..they realized that falling in love and marrying was just the easy part..and living with the person not meant for each other is the brutest brunt life gave them..and they had nothing to say but to bear the burden silently all their life..it felt like that god is taking revenge of the misdeeds they committed in this life and the previous others...

Even as their first child was born...their sad life was filled with cheers of a growing child for the first few years..but even that..couldn't take them out of their misery...the saddest thing was that they always had that feeling of What-life-could-have-been without each other..and a child meant only one more reason to continue...the once adventurous and cheerful girl was replaced by a sad old grown up lady whose daily routine was similar to that of a nurse and the handsome man with a stupid smile was replaced by a old wrinkly and freckled face which did nothing more than grumble at everything that..."

With this I suddenly saw my angel's watery eyes...i stopped...i asked her what's wrong..

She burst in to tears..saying that how is it possible??...how can this happen??...every story has to have a happy ending...why not this one..you always told me stories which ended so well with the people in it so happy...then why this one today??that too when its your and grandpa's 40th anniversary tomorrow..

"Well child!! Because this IS a true story..and I told you this story because I want you to make the right decisions in life by giving time to the important ones..and not rushing it through..for what you know life is not always a bed of roses my dear...This is life..As we know it!!!"

I am your Wolverine

When I see the moon
And the moon sees me,
My god blesses the moon
And my god blessed me,

When I see the moon...
And I see You,
I see the moon..as pale and blue!!

With jealousy in the eyes,
and folds on her brows
the moon frowns on me saying..
"We were together,here,Forever..
you told I was The most beautiful
You have seen EVER"

With Teary eyes I look at the moon,
I am sorry..I said to the moon
I always thought that I was meant for you,

but U and I were never to be,

I thought I was your wolverine...and U were my moon
but now I know..
...now I know, that my moon is not U

My moon is out there...in the folds of the night
She is out there, as the bright sun light
I know she is there..
..Pure and Serene
If only I cud hold her once,
look her in the eye and say...
U r my moon and...I am your Wolverine.

P.S. - for My moon..because the one in the sky is just not worth it. :)

The Finnish Summer

"Get Up you lazy Head!!This is my last warning to you...GEEEEEEEET UUUUUUUUUUP!!!"

"Huh??!!...oh mom, just 5 mins more please..please..please.."

"Shut up!! Its 7.15 already, Don't you have school today??"

"Ya mom I do..but am busy here"

"Ya right! Get up now or you are skipping breakfast today"

"Nooooooooooooooooooo...Am UP!!"

"Good boy, Now go change. You are late"

"Yups! Love you Maa"

"Love you too Sweet Heart"

...........

"Well! What do you know, good ol' days"

Putting down his glass of beer for the first time after having a massive gulp from it, almost emptying half the mug, my friend, my best friend, was definitely OUT.

You could always say this in conformity coz in no other condition did he ever recalled his childhood. I had heard this story probably a 1000 times before , but I could never even dare to interrupt..EVER!!! So as a good friend will, I as always, listened to it as if it was for the very first time.

"Well.." he continued.."you know bro, those were such cold mornings, even in summers, you just couldn't leave home without a sweater or a jacket. I so hated to get up early mornings"

"I know bro....but the European weather can be harsh on one, especially for people like us."

"I know...Hmmm...I agree..Hey!! can't you see m empty here...order another mug"

"Are you Sure??"

"Yups!! 100 %"

"Good"

"Another round please"..I ordered.

And we both got another round as ordered placed right in front of our faces by our regular waitress face-off. I nicknamed her ' Face-off ' ..partly coz I loved the movie and partly coz no one in the bar ever looked at her face..For obvious reasons. :p

"Anyways"..he continued..breaking my attention from the waitress. " I hated my school. It was sooooooooooo far away from home...and I didn't even have a bike. So I had to walk all the way there in that chilly wind and the Hard shining sun. I could never understand whether to open my sweater so that I cool off or to leave it on me due to the wind....It was ridiculous, the tussle everyday lasted for around half an hour everyday, after that I could finally open it coz I reached the class which was warm and cozy...BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRPP!!!!"

"Oh,Behave!!..Gosh you stink"

"Sowee..Let me wipe your face"

"No! its ok, am good"...That was It! My friend was DRUNK.

"anytime now"..I said to myself.

"That was something good..The warm classes..but so Boring..Uugh!!! I hated that.Who wanted to learn history, civics and geography???..eww..I liked Science... :D"

You could see the shine in his eyes with the mention of Science.

"The only thing good about my school was, you know, was that it organized so many trips and outings like picnic and visits to museums etc..I loved that...even when I was a quiet child in class, I loved the trips and used to talk a lot during the trips..THE BEST PART."

You have no idea how I counted the days backwards and crossed each day as it passed, Hoping that it will end soon....Then...You know what happened one day??"


"there it is..I could see it now"..My mind spoke again..now more worried...coz it knew what was coming ...and it was HARD to handle.

I said "What" as if I had no idea what he was gonna say next.

"One day the teacher told, its her last class today..I fell from the sky!! I couldn't believe it..it was the worst feeling ever..My heart started sinking..I saw the calender..Oh no!! only a week left...My heart sank a bit more...But you know, My mind was Happy and ......Confused??!!....Ooo I hated that dilemma, When the mind and heart disagree completely. They were yet again in an on going battle wanting to get better of one another..Aaahhh..It was like my mind was said..What dude??You wanted this too, Didn't you ?? now what the Hell just happened??What just got into you??, But my heart kept silent and sat down in a corner. My mind just got more pissed and started Yelling, Shouting and Throwing stuff...but still my heart was silent..it was as if it never spoke...it went totally Mum."

"yes!its official now!" He was crying again..What is with this 'Harald's beer' and crying men? I never had any clue..probably coz I never liked the taste of beer...anyways,so the thing is..He was crying now.

"Hey!! What are you doing??You don't care that am upset right? am going..You are no bro of mine" He saw the amusement dripping down from my face.

"Hey..Hey!!Am sorry man!!please continue."

"Ok! Sun be (Listen you idiot), then at home I just threw my bag and hugged my mom! she knew something was wrong. I never cried in front of her...I was her strong baby..I could never cry..no ,matter how much I wanted to. I told her Everything...She just replied "Lyf goes on, Let it go".Her words shook me, I got strength to face the inevitable end. but somehow my heart was still not 100% convinced. Maybe it was still clinging on to those Boring classes, those hectic schedule, those chilly mornings and my mind had no idea when my heart silently fell in Love with them all."

"Cheque please!" I shouted pointing to Face-off.

"Hey!No! am not done..I want another one."

"DUDE!!No way! You know what happens to you when you take the third round?"

"I give a Shit!!Hey you, Get me another beer,Kiitti."

"Whoa!!" He finally saw her name. "WOW!! You know her name??" I asked jumping off from my seat..My voice had both shock and excitement at the same time.

"NO! You Idiot, Its.."

Interrupting, Kiitti a.k.a. Face-off brought the beer mugs to our table. My
friend drunk it bottoms up.

"oh no! This is it, this is the climax..am so dead"

I got the packet ready, came to the seat next to his, placed the packet on the table...sighed...and said.."continue"

"Uh?? Oh ya.. Where was I....ya...So finally the day arrived....It was farewell..All the teachers, classmates in their dresses looked so Good...and Happy!! Everyone was partying,dancing and chatting around.Then dinner was served, we all sat down together. We all were told to prepare a 5 minute speech on our experience of the school. Everyone gave long speeches stating their experiences of the school and the good times they shared with each other. In my turn, I kinda omitted the first boring part and told only the good things. My heart, in a week, had absorbed the fact that I had to let it all go.

Slowly the night came to an end, we were all busy in taking group photos and stuff.

Then was the time to say the Final Good bye..My heart went restless again. It was jumping like a stubborn kid in a candy store and telling me to stop..not to let it go..its not over yet.

I on the other hand, stayed calm from the surface, as if nothing was wrong...Had a fake smile plastered on my sad face..And hugged all my teachers. Just then a tear trickled down my left eye and with a lump in my throat all I could say...I WILL MISS U ....I WILL MISS YOU SUMMER SCHOOL "

..........

With this he started wailing....and then vomited my 1000 bucks worth of beer in the packet on the table. All I could say in the end..."Its ok buddy..let it go..Its time, Time to go HOME"



P.S...PURELY a work of Fiction :)

RAIN

The Smell of rain wen it hits the ground,

The thundering sound between the clouds,

In a shiny nite wen the moon is wet,

Wen the barren stretch has puddles ahead,

Wen u no more have to fear the sun,

Wen u no more hav to walk in miles,

Wen d world thanks god for his heavenly blessings..

I m Sad..coz i know..

God's Weeping

If he has the power to tear the sky,

If he has the power to give new Lyf,

I ask..''y god y??''

..Oh god..

"y o y??"

y can't u take me to that place,

where I enjoy the rain..with your Love and Grace.

wen u understand the pain m thru,

y do I hav to cry with u??

y can't I be in such a place??

where I am Happy,

so r u

where m not suffering

and

she has no pain.

Together we walk,

and enjoy your Rain!!

I Love U Infinity!!

Can u think of a place Dear,
Where lyf goes on
without counting days, months or year??

No more counting of minutes,
No more track of any seconds,

Wen time is endless, so r we
BUT alas..where is that place to be
where time stops whenever we say.

The second passes in a blink of an eye,
but in that second..

..I Love U Infinity!!

Dedicated to my future wife-to-be

(so girls plz dnt quit fighting..may the best girl friend win :P :P)

Repetitively Accessible Mutation

|| Jai Jai Jai Hanuman Gosai ||
|| Kripa Karahu Gurudev Ki Nai ||

A LOT has changed since I last blogged.


For starters all my friends which i blogged bout earlier finally left me as expected for a new phase in their life.I left each 1 of them til they boarded their flights/trains & left MY world to enter a new 1.(its not that m complaining but ya,definitely missing them).

Secondly,i now Finally resemble my pic put up here.

Yes, its true, people seeing me after a long gap swear to not recognize me. :P (& i secretly love it)

.......

Now the other reason for which i waited so long to create this blog is the major festival called DIWALI.

So wats the BIG deal bout this diwali??

Yes it was not the best diwali i celebrated all my life (coz i dint celebrate it with my parents & brother ) but it was special indeed.

I did piss off many (read 99%) of my friends,yet in a wicked way i was happy being with the people i was.

The reason for this sudden change was coz i became Mutated.

YES,i became mutated & unfortunately (i guess) this mutation is here to stay.but the good news is that this mutation is not a permanent changeover from wat i previously was,rather its a "HAPPY ZONE" which i like to visit quite often now,its a Mutation to which i have an unlimited access to.


Thus the name Repetitive Accessible Mutation.


Though i may not b totally proud of the last few mnths but stil the fact remains that i have changed,this mutation has left a permanent dent in my Gene Structure which is quite difficult to repair now.

This dent has made me Human again,i can now laugh a little louder,love a little more,shout a bit louder,cry a little harder. In short- i learnt to live life again NORMALLY and IDEALLY due to this MUTATION.


After all,thats how R.A.M. does it,so y not me??


Wat could be better than living life "the HUMAN way" ???


Even u Should try it sometimes,its much peaceful that way friends.



P.S. CONFUSED?????(Exactly my Point!!) :P


Serious P.S. All this is not just random rubbish,for some who know me well,i hope they can decipher it and for those who don't-JUST ENJOY THE RANDOMNESS.. (HUMAN STYLE) !!!

|| ITI R.A.M.AYAN ||

Dream Come True

“It was a hot summer morning. The sun was out. The heat was ON. I was enjoying myself in the a/c. Suddenly I realised that only 2 mins were left for the train to depart. I had to get down quickly coz the compartment was crowded. Holiday season was on after all. I got down. This time SHE came till the gate to see me off. Quiet ironical actually. She gave me all the last mins advice as to how I shud stay happy & get on with my life.

I dint want to listen to it. I just wanted a hug. She gladly gave me one. Then she got back on the train as it slowly started to catch its pace and move towards a destination far far away from where I was.

I dint want her to go. But couldn’t make her stay. No matter how hard I run, the train wud have eventually left the platform & my sight forever!!”

The Phone rang..& I woke up..all sweaty & wet sleeping in my room..Realising it was all just a dream. (Never mind the phone call).

I tried to sleep again, but this dream broke my Much Needed & Peaceful afternoon Nap.

I was much relieved at that point coz I realised that the pain of seeing sum1 u love, GO, was actually not for real, instead was just a dream.

But don’t people say that Din ke Sapne hamesha sach hote hain??

So was this 1 a similar kind of a dream???

Is this saying at all true??

Is it a fact or fiction??

Millions of thoughts were running thru my mind..& wat was supposedly just another mid-day dream actually became my food for thought for the entire evening.

..........

But all said and done, u all would still b wondering that who was the girl that I was talking bout earlier, then I must tel u that since it was a dream, I forgot her face as soon as I woke up. Though it may leave a bad taste for all of u but it also kills ME from within, as even I wanted to know who this mystery girl was, whose departure caused so much pain & agony within me. I racked my brains for quite some time but then I realised.. what would I do if I did eventually found out who she was?

Would I go over and try to stop her or would I forget it as a stupid dream?

Would I try to know her better or would I stay away from her?

Then something made me realise, that true joy lies in not knowing what lies ahead.. Its in climbing the mountain and not in sitting at the top and enjoying the view. It lies in forever yearning for something and not confusing happiness with satisfaction. Happiness we get from possessing something we desire is only Momentary but being Satisfied from within is wat makes it stay.

If desires die.. so does the happiness.. that dreaming is more fun than waking up and realising them..

And I guess reading this “philosophical outtake” of mine would have induced some realisation in you, so I propose u do exactly wat I did then.. go back to sleep!! :P

PS: For further reference.. listen to ‘Phir Dekhiye’, a splendid but often overlooked track from Rock On!!

The Genesis!!

1:1 - In the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth.

1:2 - And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

1:3 - And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.

The phrase comes from the third verse of the book of Genesis in the King James Bible

This was just a reference as from where did I devise the Name for this Blog from(if u were at all wondering i.e.)


DISCLAIMER:Now u all mite think it as quite an over enthusiastic URL for such an ordinary blog like this 1 & I myself also don't make any promises to u that whether I will be able to make it an interesting read for u all.The sole purpose of this blog is something else,(also other than to entertain) which u will come to know as u read along.

..........

For those of u who know me.It mite come as a surprise for u as to c me here.U mite Ask Urself..

"Wat is HE doing here??"

For those of u who dont know me I shud tel u that,I have never been a gr8 fan of blogging & was always considered a Non-Blogger both by my friends & by Myself as well.I was too lazy to open the Internet & also type something & post it & Blah..Blahh..Blahhh..

But then,Things Change,People Change,Circumstances Change..& so have I.

.........

It was around 6:30 pm 2day when Shrinku came & told me

" 4 lakh CTC & Joining is on 4th May"


He was referring to his offer regarding a job as a software developer in RedHat.

All of a Sudden a realisation struck me--

4th May is Not even 2 Weeks away..
Damn!!

I hardly have time left to spend with him & once he is off to Pune(Gr8 City btw!!) he mite not come back for months.

So I thought Y not start blogging..A good way to keep in touch with him(Cheap too!!) plus this wil also keep my friends (who r leaving college & I mite not c them again) up-to-date about my new developments in life.

So in the end..Finally Shrinku has succeeded in making me connect to him thru yet another Internet Mode of Comunication (After Orkut & Twitter) only this time..He Doesn't even know it..

So this is for all my FRIENDS out there whom I cant afford to loose yet cant make THEM stay!!