Saturday, March 4, 2017

Fresh prints on snow


"Look what you did to me, see what is happening, this is all your fault. I told you so many times to be careful, but you never listen to me".

"Okay, honey." I said in a calm manner. "I understand that you are in a lot of pain and are hating everything right now, but please calm down and remember what the doctor said, Breathe". I held her hand tighter than earlier. She was wheeled in and finally transferred on to the hospital bed.

After few short breaths she continued, "I told you that let's not try during the summer, why don't you ever listen to me you!"

"Come on, honey, are you seriously angry at me because we will have a winter child? Lots of people are born in the winters."

"In the tropics!" She exclaimed. "This happens in the tropical climates, not in the bloody poles."

"Yes, okay, fine. I realize that, but to be fair, when is it summer here anyway."

"If she falls sick due to the cold weather I will kill you, I swear", she was still not over it. Thankfully, the doctor came to our room to check in on her.

"How is it looking Viktor?" I inquired. Viktor was the only OBGYN in our station and was on a yearlong mission, and even though he was not from our unit, he was a tremendous help during our pregnancy. I was debating the possibility of naming our child Viktor if we had a boy.

"Not enough dilation, might take a few more hours. If it’s still not dilated, we try and induce labour."

"Okay, but I am not sure if she wants to".

"Yes", she said cutting me off. Her reaction took me by surprise.

"Okay, sure. See you soon" and Viktor left.

She started crying, and with tears rolling down her face, "It hurts, it hurts so much. I am sorry that I am angry on you, I don't know what to do anymore, whom to take it out on".

I added a few pillows to support her back and lift her up a little bit. "Hey, It’s okay, I am here for you, honey. Don't worry. By the way, do you know that you said 'she'?"

"What?"

"You said 'she', if she falls sick. Are we having a daughter honey?"

"Yes, yes we are", she smiled.

"We decided we won't find out, didn't we?"

"Sorry, I couldn't resist." She was still smiling naughtily, like a child caught eating extra candies on Halloween. Her cheeks were cherry red due to all the pain and the smile looked perfect on her red face. She was sweating, but she still had a glow through which she had never looked more beautiful to me.

"If I wasn't this happy, I would be so mad at you right now." I laughed and kissed her. She held the back of my head and leaned in on the kiss as well, forgetting her pain for that moment.

"Ow, ow, aah." She wailed in pain. Of course, it had to be interrupted. Goddamn contractions!

"Another contraction?"

"Yes" she could barely speak through the pain, all the while holding her abdomen.

"I will get Viktor". I started to move away when she caught my t-shirt and stopped me.

"No, stay. Press the button." Pointing to a button on the side of her bed. I pressed it and Viktor came rushing in a few seconds.

"Viktor, please check her dilation. Maybe she is ready now." I was worried and he could see it on my face. I felt the anxiety grow inside of me and I started sweating profusely too.

"Okay, we can take her. She is ready, but you have to be the midwife. Da?"

"No" my wife said firmly, gasping for breath. The contractions were now happening every few seconds. She was ready for delivery but she was still resisting, "No, he stays right here. By my side. I am not letting him look at me while birthing."

"Alright, but then I need to find someone else who can help me out. We will have to sterilize them and then bring them in. It will take time." Viktor was visibly irritated.

"What about water birth?" I asked him.

Viktor paused for a moment, "da, that will work. If you hold her top, I can take care of the bottom." We transferred her to the stretcher and wheeled her to the bathroom which had a bath tub. He turned the tap to 90° Centigrade to first sterilize the whole tub and proceeded to fill it with 40° C water. In 10 minutes, we were ready to put her inside. Water significantly reduced her pain, making me feel like an idiot to not think about this earlier.

"Okay, now come on." Viktor said. "Breathe and push, each time harder than the last time. It will pop in no time."

"Come on honey, you can do it."


~~~6 years later~~~


Sitting outside the admissions' office of our first in line school, we were waiting for our turn.

"You can go in now", the secretary pointed at us to go in.

The officer took our forms and started filling out the paper work. She had an expressionless face, seemed like she was thoroughly bored of her job. She had big glasses on her face. I had imagined her to be older and probably wrinkly from her voice, but she wasn’t so, probably in her 40s.  

After checking our forms and filling in the necessary details, she called my  daughter to a higher chair near her desk and proceeded to ask her questions as part of the admission process.

"What is your name dear?” she started.

"Viktoria, with a K".

She smiled, glanced at me and continued. "When is your birthday?"

"27th December 2016". The lady ticked something on her form.

"Right, where were you born Viktoria with a K?"

"Actartica"

I rushed to clarify in between, “she still cannot pronounce her N's properly. It's actually 'McMurdo station, Antarctica'”.

"Right. That will fix itself in time, and please let her answer." She said matter of factly, devoid of any emotion in her voice. She then turned to her again and before she could ask another question, Viktoria jumped out of her seat and ran towards the large French window, which extended from the ground to the ceiling, behind the officer.

"Look Daddy, it’s snowing." Her eyes lighted at the sight of snow and she wanted me to have a look as well. She started tapping the glass with her finger pointing at the ground, “Look daddy, look. So much snow”.  She proceeded to place her tiny palms on the window and pressed her face against the glass.

"Yes dear, we will soon go out and play outside, but come here for now, don't keep the lovely lady waiting." I asked her from my seat, hoping she will listen.

"But I want to go now. I am scared to sit so close to her. She has big eyes."

"No honey, don't be scared." I was embarrassed by her prompt honesty. I got up and separated her from the window. She left grease marks on the glass, I could see that the officer was not impressed. I put her on my lap to complete the interview.

The interview lasted 10 more minutes after which we were free to check out the school premises. Instead, we left the building to play Viktoria's favourite winter game, making fresh prints in the snow.